They are ‘children of these days’


Chukwuneta Oby

In our conversation, a family friend kept lamenting that the daughter had been staying home for close to a year…despite studying a professional course at a university.

According to her, she got tired of giving the girl transportation fare (daily) to a law firm that wasn’t giving her a dime for her efforts.

So, she advised the daughter to stay at home…until they (the parents) could raise the funds for her postgraduate studies.

A few days after that encounter, I contacted an older friend and begged him to take the girl in any of his offices.

He was reluctant at first…pointing out that he preferred experienced hands-due to the nature of his practice.

He eventually employed the girl and the pay was satisfactory too…considering that she was coming with no experience.

The mum kept updating me on her job experience.

But the girl…I never heard from!

Until we met at their family function…almost a year later.

She gave me a hug quite alright but I chided her.

One would expect a THANK YOU (via SMS or call) as soon as she got the job but nothing of such happened.

Instead, it was the mum that wouldn’t stop saying THANK YOU any chance she got.

And it made me shudder at even the calibre of parenting that exists in this age.

If the mum felt it was necessary to say THANK YOU…why had she not done the most important thing in that regard?

Making the girl do it herself!

While growing up…

Any favours that came one’s way would have our mothers screaming “have you said THANK YOU, have you gone to ‘greet’ them.”

You don’t want to imagine the ‘stare-of-disgust’ that would greet the realisation that you even waited to be reminded of such.

Mothers, don’t always step in to ‘act’ on their behalf.

TEACH THEM to do it, instead!

We are raising highly entitled children and busy justifying it with “they are children of these days.”

The pattern of behaviour that I detect in a lot of young people these days worries me as equally as it disappoints.

A lot of them carry this ‘sense of entitlement’ into most areas of their lives and we keep looking the other way (in order not to offend them).

Such an attitude morphs into ‘character’ which is bound to upset other social settings in their lives.

Aren’t we already raising children who feel that those that give them money are the only ones who deserve their respect?

Stories abound of homes where fathers that don’t pull their economic weight are roundly disrespected by the children, because mummy is the one paying the bills.

The children that we are raising in this age don’t know how far a humble THANK YOU can take anybody.

I have often said that gestures of COURTESY don’t escape a humble spirit.

It’s a mark of humility, courtesy and gratitude to acknowledge EVERY positive effort that anybody makes towards you.

Situations will always arise, where COURTESY will go a long way to smoothen things out.

It’s most convenient to blame their age but GOOD MANNERS have more to do with upbringing and introspection…as one knows better.

My son swallows hard when I go hard on him on these issues.

I am big on COURTESY!

You don’t close your eyes to obvious MANNERLESSNESS because “they are children of these days.”

It’s destroying their relationships at an alarming rate.

Most of them are going to deal with employers and in-laws (for example) and this calibre of people are absolutely big on courtesy… no what you think you are bringing to the table!

A courteous disposition says a lot about you.

And saying THANK YOU is the simplest courteous gesture that anybody can imbibe.


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