Dele Afelumo
Of late, there have been strident calls by some quasi-fanatics and sycophants of the erstwhile President of Nigeria, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan for him to, once again, throw his hat in the ring for the plum job in the land. Undoubtedly, he has that inalienable right—like many other Nigerians—to contest but, do we need an old, toxic wine in a new bottle? Why must we be recycling old hands that have not changed our fortunes when they had the best God-given opportunities? Is Nigeria lacking candidates that are head-and-shoulder above GEJ? Why do we go amnesic on matters that are of paramount importance to our dear country?
Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan actually had mother-luck smiling on him as his trajectory to the presidency was so fast that he became an instant champion, first as the Deputy Governor to Chief Diepreye Alamieyeseigha and later to, Alhaji Umaru Yar‘adua before becoming President himself and seen then to have traversed our political space like a collosus with Messianic wands. Due to his loyalty when he was goaded into taking over the reins of governance in Bayelsa after his boss decided to do a phenomenal cross-dressing— transvestism—in the UK to slip through the fingers of the eagle-eyed Metropolitan Police, he soon became an instant phenomenon. His boss was to be docked in the UK of the multi-layered racketeering and monumental corruption allegations that were perpetrated against his tiny oil-rich State of Bayelsa. But the ever-loyal Deputy-Governor did not fall for the sweet apple immediately. It was after an orchestrated Federal government-midwifed impeachment that a reluctant GEJ stepped in to salvage the battered image of the State then. By this unparalleled loyalty, ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo and many Nigerians saw him as a rare breed.
Again, luck came Goodluck Jonathan‘s way as the terminally infirm Yar‘adua was brought back to Nigeria as an unidentified flying object—apologies to our revered Nobel laureate, Professor Oluwole Akinwande Soyinka. Uncertainties rented the air. Palpable unease was pervasive in our landscape and a sickly miasma enveloped our terrain. Also, a frightening goblin was hanging on Nigeria, the fall of which was capable of having far-reaching cataclysmic effects. Many ambitious dramatis personae wanted to torpedo the constitution for their selfish and parochial interests. Justice Minister Aoondoaka was working nicodemously in cahoots with some feudalists to be crowned the new king.Through the doctrine of necessity, the then Senate President, David Mark pronounced Goodluck Ebele Jonathan the President.
His ascendancy to the number one office in the land was greeted by an unprecedented enthusiasm. Being from the minority ethnic extraction, he was seen as a ray of hope for many indigent Nigerians of the same history. His confessions of being poor and shoe-less as a Primary School pupil endeared him to not a few. In droves, many families christened their male newborns, Goodluck—a superstitious sophistry of the highest order! In a nutshell, the Goodluck wind blew ceaselessly across Nigeria until it later turned to a ferocious whirlwind. GEJ‘s persona was—and still is—a stolid, run-of-the-mill, taciturn, simple, inarticulate fellow with his characteristic smiles and had a portrayal of a man who could not rattle anybody‘s cage. He had this visage of an easy-going guy. He was novitiated twice as a deputy Governor and vice President, a period enough for him to have learnt the ropes of administration. Behind the scene, he was said to be a connoisseur of the finest brew which he always had at any given time and would get inebriated, at which times, Nigeria was always consigned into desuetude.
Hopes were dashed by his administration‘s ineptitude; dalliance with a notorious marksman of the Abacha era as a trainer of snipers, promotion of ‚Ijawness‘ and whittling down the concept of Nigerianness, soaring prices of basic commodities amidst a tottering economy, grafts and heists of indescribable degree and many more negativities. His wife, Dame Patience Jonathan became an instant household name as a clownish comedienne. Her unscholarly vituperations and jeremiads soon earned her a notorious sobriquét across the world. She looked quite an unpresidential consort by every shred of the word. All these forced the tireless writer in ex-President OBJ to take the administration to the cleaners in his famous critique entitled: ‚Before It Is Too Late‘ on December 11th, 2013. It was an earthquake that shook the land with so much tremulous Tsunami.
He later contested the 2015 Presidential elections against an equally taciturn, perennial wily tiger who did not want to proclaim his tigritude fairly but was ready to pounce his way through in desperation as a cult-figure boasting of a huge followership. His tirade, after three unsuccessful attempts at the polls made him gibber that the whole country would be soaked in blood if he lost. Although he won, the infamous tirade has now become a reality since 2015. GEJ had to concede defeat by that famous call to his fellow contestant, Muhammadu Buhari. He won accolades through this singular gesture. The rest is now history.
A popular folklore in those days of yore is apt here. A village consulted its herbalist who decreed a ritual to stop some kamikaze and horror-stricken happenstances but their holy grail was to use an elephant for the ceremony. The whole land was saddened as it was a herculean task to get an elephant. Tortoise, a very crafty and cunning animal, promised them that he would get the monstrous animal but they should dig a pit, cover it with the best apparels and festoon the chair that the elephant would sit on with the best ornaments and flowers.
Tortoise went into the wild, cajoled the elephant and chanted its panegyrics to the high heavens and that, being the indisputable king of the animal kingdom, it also qualified to be the king of humans and that people were praying and waiting for it to come and assume the leadership role among them. The swollen-headed, haughty animal bought the bunkum and followed tortoise to the village with so much braggadoccio and swag. To the utter chagrin of all, tortoise led the elephant along the village roads to the square with locals clapping and eulogizing them. To the elephant, it was a triumphant entry. As it made to sit on the beautifully decorated chair, it fell into the pit below. That was how people brought their different whetted knives to help themselves with elephant meat after the ceremony. Unknown to the elephant, it was an ominous harbinger to perdition.
The story above suffices for Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan in these latest calls to join the fray and be crowned president again. The pro-Jonathan sycophants are not making the calls because of their love and admiration for him or patriotism to Nigeria but for their own selfish, pecuniary gratifications. It is an egregious insult to our collectivism as a people. Does that mean our country is lacking individuals capable of steering our ship to safety, apart from GEJ? Perhaps, these self-serving people who thronged GEJ‘s Abuja residence thought that, the evils and savagery that have become the lots of Nigerians since 2015 would make him feel like a demi-god and super-human that could clean our Augean stable now. In fairness to these proponents, the evils of corruption, clannishness, savagery, horrific deaths, land annexation, nepotism, kidnappings, and poverty that have defined the Buhari presidency were a mere child‘s play during Jonathan era.
The scallywags and reprobates that want another Jonathan presidency are quick to point to some ephemeral economic indices prior to Buhari‘s administration. They are reminding us now that bags of cement and rice were at ridiculous, give-away prices during the administration of Jonathan. How amnesic can some people be!. If it were so, then Nigerians should rather make do with General Yakubu Gowon or invoke the spirit of Gen. Murtala Ramat Mohammed, through a witch as it happened during the Biblical times when Saul, confronted by an impending war defeat, sought the services of a witch òf Endor to bring the spirit of Samuel so as to stave off the dangers. Afterall, during Yakubu Gowon‘s 9-year reign, he kept Nigeria one; gave free Udoji largesse and our Naira was far stronger than the US dollars then!.This proposition by the Jonathanians, at best, is arcane and I guffaw at it. It‘s a gnomic reminder of how hollow and shallow some people are.
Power is both a tempting aphrodisiac and a gateway to infamy and perdition. It is sought by many but only for a few. In our clime where the wielder is prima inter pares and he personifies the law. The inordinate ambition to determine the fate of more than 220 million people can be a lifetime dream. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan has had his time and luck had actually smiled on him. The train of Nigeria had left the station. Never shall our Nigeria‘s Israelites return to Egypt.
