Doris Ochei
“The best protection any woman can have…is courage.” – Elizabeth Cady Stanton
A year has passed since the world bid farewell to Her Royal Majesty, Obi Martha Dunkwu, the famous and unforgettable Omu Anioma. Interestingly, after one year, the warmth of her indomitable spirit still shines radiantly in our hearts. Omu, our revered queen and mother, was a beacon of unusual feminine strength. We also remember her today and always for her unwavering love, compassion, intelligence, peace and an infectious sense of humour that brightened everywhere she entered during her earthly journey. Truly, we miss her deeply for all these and more. Without doubt, the departed Omu Anioma came to the Omuship stool prepared, with good breeding, excellent education, panache, skills of networking, intercultural dialogue, exposure and courage. Therefore, for us in Anioma nation, Omu brought a significant and long-lasting impact on our history, sociology, humanism, tradition and culture. And her act of bravery as a woman, mother and advocate for a better society, will forever be etched in our memories.
However, as we remember this woman of courage and positive influence, we are happy in a way, even with the pain in our hearts and her physical absence. So, as I write, I find solace in her exemplary life. Omu was indeed a model of love, possibility and generosity, three traits that stayed with her and also endured until her very last moments on earth. But it is also gratifying to add that we have also found comfort, knowing that her legacy still lives on in the uncountable number of lives she touched while on earth. In truth, Omu Anioma was beautiful (inside and outside), and she left a significant impact in the lives of nearly everyone who came in contact with her. So, as we express our feelings of loss, we shall also celebrate her extraordinary life in thanksgiving and gratitude to God for bringing to this world, such a beautiful soul with a heart full of kindness.
I remember our path first crossed on April 12, 2023. On that remarkable day, she led over a dozen Omus from different parts of Aniomaland to Onicha-Olona for the commissioning of Onicha-Olona Ultra-Market Market, my initiative. I hasten to add that I decided to build that market at Onicha-Olona primarily to ease the daily challenges of market women and to also promote commerce and small businesses. This, I believe, excited the Omu who came all the way from Okpanam, her home town, to support us during the unveiling of the market. The Omu, who spent the entire day with us at Onicha-Olona, praised my efforts on the project, highlighting the importance of such a modern market in a fast-growing community and its environs. Instantly, my husband, Major General Raymond Ochei, a lover of culture and a man who is never tired of exploring local tradition and I, cultivated a positive relationship with the Omu.
In a short while, Obi Martha Dunkwu became our mother and counsellor on cultural matters. We also drew substantially from her extensive expertise, wisdom, knowledge and travels. In addition, my husband, a kind-hearted man, and I ensured she was comfortable and well-provided for. Regularly, my husband’s military aide checked up on her to see how she was doing. But another interesting part is that Major General Ochei never visited Delta State without paying the Omu a surprise visit at her palace.
It might interest the reader to know that a few weeks before the Omu joined her ancestors, my husband had played host to her in Abuja. The visit, as it turned out, was a chance for the respected monarch to experience the Federal Capital Territory from a soldier’s broad and adventurous perspective. I am aware that my husband took her to many prominent sons and daughters of Anioma, resident in Abuja. And during the wide-ranging engagements and consultations, she provided impactful insights on the way forward for Anioma culture and tradition. This is aside the several interesting places they visited. He even saw her off to the airport on the day she departed, but only to hear a few weeks after her arrival, that she had passed away.
Hard as I try, it is very difficult to forget and put behind me, all the interesting memories around our amiable Omu and her interesting ways. I still remember her glowing tribute to my husband in an interview she granted a newspaper where she highlighted Major General Ochei’s patriotism, good nature and unwavering support for people in need.
In the words of Omu Anioma, Obi Martha Dunkwu, it reads: “Major General R. N. Ochei is one man who is doing everything possible to keep Nigeria united. In fact, he is compassionate, far-reaching, sensitive and unselfish. He is a soldier who uses compassion as a tool in working for the unity of our dear country and I think he deserves commendation for all the great things he does for our integration and unity. Everyone knows that I am on one form of allowance or the other (both cash and provisions) every month from him. As a matter of fact, I receive provisions and other supplies from Isa, his military aide, every month. Ochei is respectful, urbane and progressive-minded. He is also a forward-looking and compassionate soldier who understands pain and suffering especially at a time like this. He is a man who cares for others, that is why I pray for him on a daily basis.”
For us, members of the Ochei family, this is a personal loss. But Omu left a lasting mark on a society she worked for and guided very jealously. And as I said earlier, that is the consoling part. Her larger-than-life image is why a year after, she is still an issue in our traditional institutions. I understand, Afam, her son, recently returned from Ghana where he received an award on behalf of his mother who lived a life of impact beyond borders.
Our great Omu, wherever you are, you can rest assured that as time passes, so shall we continue to remember your extraordinary life and great deeds. I know that your contribution to our land will never go unnoticed. I thank God that you are also providing us life lessons. And one of such lessons is essentially about your life which draws attention to the fact that as human beings, it is possible to achieve immortality by our actions while we are still alive.
Thank you and may you find eternal peace on the other side.
Dr Ochei, a Business Development Coach and Gender Advocate, writes from Lagos
